This girl needs grace.

March 19, 2013 § 7 Comments

You guys.

I am out of control. And I have to warn you that it aint pretty.

Emotionally and physically, this has been one of the worst weeks of pregnancy for me.

One of the (also pregnant) gals in our small group confessed to “just trying to hold it together” a couple of weeks ago and those words have been ringing in my head for days.

Amen, sister.

And so I need some grace. Please forgive me for the lack of awesome-ness in this post. Every time I went to write something else, something inside me just wanted to be honest with you and share that I needed a break. I feel like I am living in Crazytown and need to keep it simple: eat. sleep. breathe. have a complete thought. not cry. and give myself permission to just do what’s needed in the moment. Because after this weekend of Just Too Much and Major Meltdown 2013, I need to give myself some grace. Clearly. Because the alternative is: tears. swollen ankles. little sleep. my yelling “Well, where do YOU go?” at a gas station attendant who dared tell me there was no restroom and staying up cleaning until the wee hours of the morning because that’s what I do when I feel I’ve lost control over my emotions, my body, and stop listening to what I need.

In this busy and hormonally imbalanced season, I need to be finding peace and rest where I can.  I need to be drawing closer to God rather than keeping my distance while I flip out. And I just need to slow my hormonal roll.

So that’s my post. Nothing deeper. No moral to the story. No “and on the other side of this…” because I’m IN IT. That’s it. I don’t even have any pictures to include because my brain can’t handle it. That is just where I’m at. And I kinda hate that it has to be this way, but hopefully you still like it here.

A friend in town and a baby shower this weekend will hopefully turn things around in the coming days, but for now, thanks for your understanding. This Nutso Mama owes you one.

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