April 19, 2013 § Leave a comment
Lots of things turned upside down this week.
When I was working on Tuesday’s post of our trip, I learned of the events in Boston. And I immediately clicked over to “New Post” and poured out heartbreak and wonder and rage and sadness in order to dutifully respect the tragedy instead of editing photos of the beach.
But then I didn’t post it.
Because I didn’t feel like it got me, or us, anywhere. Because I knew we were all feeling it. Because if you hopped on Facebook or Twitter for two seconds, you would have seen that all were reeling and grieving and shaking our heads and looking for hope and meaning. And I honestly didn’t know how to add to that conversation. Because sometimes there is pressure to write the sentiments that apply to everyone and at the time, I didn’t have them.
I still don’t. Which is why it’s taken me three days to post. Sometimes, you just don’t know where to start. I am no voice for the families, for a city, for a nation.
And as I sunk a bit deeper into fear for the world and also some impending challenges we’re facing as a family, I was given a gift from someone who didn’t have to share it.
I was told we were being prayed for. I was reminded of those who believe in me. I was shown a life-giving image meant just for me, one that reflected my ability to rise above, to take on the challenge, to warrior through what seems impossible from here. It was revealed, the power inside me to face what I want to run from and think dimly about, that which I can harness when the time comes and encouragement I can use to do what I was made to do.
It’s not always our first inclination, to speak life into something, someone. When the going gets tough, I draw in and struggle. And when the going gets better, I don’t think to look for others drawn in and struggling.
I generally shy away from stepping out and sharing something on my heart for someone else. It’s intimidating. It’s scary. It’s uncomfortable.
What if they don’t want to hear it? What if I’m wrong? What do I know? What if it falls flat?
But boy, when someone has the faith to speak life instead of death, to share hope instead of darkness, to feed into affirmation and encouragement rather than the “impossible” or the negative, the world looks oh-so-different. Because the truth is, we care about each other, we run towards the hurt and pain instead of away from it. By going with our instincts, we transfer courage to one another. We can be strong for each other. We are not as alone as we can feel. And that reminder is priceless.
I am eternally grateful to those who have gone out of their way to bless me with their belief in good and their belief in me. And I’m hoping to have learned the impact of that and run towards it for someone else in the future.
What about you?